Pluto Tells All, by Pluto, ex-Planet, as told to John Scalzi

Subterranean Press Magazine, Spring 2007

https://subterraneanpress.com/magazine/spring_2007/fiction_pluto_tells_all_by_john_scalzi

Pluto, shortly after his demotion from Planet to Dwarf Planet, talks to John Scalzi about life in the Kuiper Belt, knowing who your friends are, and the silliness of the new definition of "planet."

• I have problems with the new definition, yeah. What is this “sweep your lane” shit? Let me toss Eris at your planet and see what sort of job Earth does sweeping the lane. I don’t think you’d like the result. Look, when people want you gone, they’ll use any excuse. Simple as that.

And yes, Pluto is excited about the New Horizons mission, though he wishes one of the Voyagers had passed by on the way out of the system.

It's fun. You'll smile, you'll laugh, I promise you won't cry. Go read it.